Wednesday, October 29, 2008

like so many twisting leaves


a quivering down below,
your stomach on a string.

a heat flashing across the cheeks.

a heaviness deeply pressing.

the words
rescue me.

a forever sense
that this must end.

a quiet plane

that cuts across it all

and then, too, is gone.


Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

and yet, to me


Hello Hell of my own making

The blind worm turns in its cradle

There is no end to anything

says otherwise
this twist of marrow
forever constricting


Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

father hood II


This tree is on fire

and my babies walk gingerly over screaming earth.

Beneath it is a pair of lungs smoking in the darkness
under the cover of insect noise.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

this morning


The sun was copper. Houses were on fire.

The air is full of powdered glass. I labor. Old snow crunching below, the sound of a brutal slog up mountainsides.

The slow ascent out of night.


Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

April 1, 2008

I was laying down starting to fall asleep listening to my heart beating and thinking about how life is something you can’t shake off.

This fist clenching and unclenching in my chest grabbing at straw.


Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

March 12, 2008

Is it still beautiful out there.

Can’t tell, from all the late nights cocooned under blankets watching old DVDs of the West Wing drinking egg creams.

I remember being shocked by a deer crashing through the woods; seeing birds; hearing what the wind had to say. Being thinner.

Now my stomach juts out again painfully, a bag of noise, and I lose myself in every setback, a bag of nerves.

A dumb dough head on a stick asking for cigarettes.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

how like an angel


Thinking is
a pierced balloon whistling air.

A sandman clinging to rocks being
blown away

mind
Is just a set of gnawing teeth
In a clay head
Perched on stilts
Pissing fire.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

bag of blood III


Rolling around like a bag of blood.

I bash into things and explode.

I am a network of bent bones.

I am a sandstorm.

I am gristle hung from ribs
in a mist of red vapor

I am the minerals of my bones sucked from the earth by other things long dead.

I am the empty spaces of my lungs and I am the decision to pack them with tar.

I’m the tar.

Empty spaces. I keep coming back to the image of an empty stage, and that’s me.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

view through leaded glass


Light from the street comes in diamond shapes, cold and sharp
like me.


Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

unsent fictitious letter to X

A little bit heavier now
A little bit softer.
More scars. More gray hair.
Coming back to you
If you still want me.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

prayer


With this ring.

May the suffering of all men dissolve/
And I grow bigger and heavier.

Fat-faced, swollen legged; may I be held
Aloft for the sake of my children.

Stumbling through the snow,
Breathing smoke,
Muscles dividing,
Crossing the lake of blood and ice.

May the diseases of all men dissolve;
All their cancers
May they burst.

May I drink of them and grow many arms.

May I be shot through with arrows
And stop fighting.

A liver and a heart burning.
Stinking of ash, a pillar of salt,
I collapse and regenerate.

Enter, exit and divide,
Ankles planted,
Cold burning in a ring of gold.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

birth day


A man is born face first
purple and blind.
He receives no welcome letter or set of instructions.

You’ll be spit out on the table like that
over and over
But being born is the last time
someone is there to catch you.

A child is chiseled into a boy
Dropped in the bucket with the others
You put a knife in his hand and hope for the best.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

can i see a show of hands


From the larvae of your mangled hand,
papery moths flutter
in puffs of silver dust.

This pale stomach opens
yellow tissue dawns
a buttery sun.

Flower petals from your fat neck fall.

Carbuncles burst
Pit fires brilliant in the wastes of your skin
Now a landscape of shining stone.

Copyright 2008 Eric Hayward

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Untitled Moment from January 6 09

I have just been following my stupid heart
I have just been following my stupid heart
I have just been following my stupid heart